2 words~ Then I’m done talking about it

When we all have just a “lil” pettiness in us, we do it in the most humble way. We can read your whole life in just “2” words. Checkout this hilarious video on what just two words can do to someone. lol

 

These are just practice blog post to show my students how to add multiple pics.

A klassic yo Mama Joke

We all know, when there’s two or more black people gathered it’s going to be some jokes floating around. Who can remember sitting around the lunch table at school battling each other with “Yo Mama” jokes? Or, sitting around at the family cookout and your favorite uncle and aunt (who may no longer be with us) joking about each others outfits. Good times right? It use to be a time when we could joke in a fun filled loving way. Good laughs for everyone. Here’s a funny video to help you reminisce on those fun times.

Bruce… I mean Caitlyn Jenner would be perfect for a To Wong Foo sequel

image

While we’re depressed about our bodies not being completely ready for the summer season Bruce, I mean Caitlyn Jenner is serving life at 65yrs old. Jenner’s old ass can be seen pictured on the cover of Vanity Fair in a cream colored corseted bodysuit.

My only concern is, that he has on too much body oil at the top. Those thighs are looking a tad bit dry. His chest is glossy as hell. He looks like one of those religious candles in the Mexican food isle at Walmart. Sitting up here looking like the white Jesus, Mary, and Jospeh combined. All he needs is a glass of red wine, and he’ll look like communion Sunday.

Anywho, some may not agree with his lifestyle, but we can’t denied the fact that he is slaying in this pic. He would be the PERFECT fit in a sequel to “To Wong Foo” don’t you agree? His facial expression screams out shade that would make for a redbox hit! He is reading us through this image lol. This image screams…

“I’ll take your man.”
“Yessssss hunny.”
“Girl bye.”
“What dat mouth do?”
“Yessssss b***h.”
“Where yo man been? Oops! My bad with me! 😊 ha!”

LOL
image

Cash Money Records dropping ACT scores for the 99 and the 2000

image

Cash Money Records need to stop taking over for the 99 and the 2000… and start taking over some of these seats in a speech impediment class. They keep signing all these people from the special needs ministry at church… that have turned from Christian melodies to secular music. Their hottest new artist is Young Thug. He will leave you with a “WTF” face after each bar. His name should be Young and the Restless because his lyrics leave you perpetually agitated. Dumbfounded. I’m convinced this man makes up his own words. That George Bush, did leave a child behind!

What comes out of his mouth, will have you questioning if you missed any episodes of Schoolhouse Rock growing up. With lyrics like “I feel like I can F.L.Y.E.E.” You’ll be messing up all your nouns, verbs, and clauses. Your English section on the ACT will be murdered. FAFSA will hit you with that “who is this” text lol. Colleges will have that read receipt (iPhone) on and never respond. Lol.

You know you Black if…

1. Your grandma has a front room full of furniture covered in plastic… that no one can sit on.
2. When something breaks you use tape or super glue.
3. If your uncle will fix anything in your house… for a pack of beer and a cigarillo.
4. If save bacon, chicken, or fish grease.
5. If your grandma got a cast iron skillet because it holds flavor.
6. If your grandma got a “greens” pot (pot only for greens).
7. If you prefer Vaseline over lotion.
8. If a male in your family nickname “man-man” or “June Bug.”
9. If your daddy got a homemade tattoo that’s faded of his Hood (set) on his arm.
10. If your got a bag of skins (pork) with a bottle of hot sauce next to it.
11. Your uncle got a room in your granny house, and he got posters of naked women on the wall.
12. If your uncle missing teeth… but he still get women.
13. If you don’t have a real pet, but a neighbor cat or dog that everyone feeds.
14. If your mama ever said “you smell like outside.”
15. If you prefer the “burnt” hotdog at a barbeque.
16. If you ask who made the potato salad.
17. If you smell your food before you eat it. (My bad that’s if you’re ghetto)
18. If the principal state “please hold all applause, until everyone’s name is called” at a graduation… and the first name they call, you yell.
19. When you think Bill Clinton is black.
20. When your bootleg man is actually better than the movie director.

4 Things Ugly Selfies will cause

1. You will attract ugly people. Ugly attractions lead to ugly relationships. Ugly relationships lead to ugly marriages. And, ugly marriages lead to ugly children. Ugly children can’t continue your legacy. We all know Americans honor a good legacy…

2. No job. Ugliness is bad for potential partnerships. A pretty face goes a long way. They can’t be stagnant with your ugly self, won’t prosper. Your resume/portfolio may be tip top. But once the employer matches the face you’ll present a risk. They can’t move forward in the hiring process…

3

3. You may need to take the citizenship naturalization test. Not, because the government thinks you’re from another country… but, because you’re sitting up in your profile picture looking like a transformer. I’m sure that’s a threat to humanity. Can’t have that…

4. On applications and standardize test you can’t check “male” or “female” without questioning. HR would have to develop an unknown section for you. That’s unnecessary paperwork. Americans hate unnecessary paperwork.

So do us all a favor. Honor your legacies, build the economy, and save the trees… by uploading a different angle with your selfies.

Editorial independence…